So It Starts Tomorrow............

Well, tomorrow is the big day; radiation treatments start at 12:15 at the Princess Margaret Hospital (PMH) and I'll be going down every day for 6 - 8 weeks. Last week I was down at PMH to get fitted for my new radiation mask. This is how they aim the radiation shots in exeactly the same place every time. Generally when they do radiation (say on the breast) they'll put little x-mark tattoos on your skin so they can line up the machine. Since the're doing it on my head, they have turned down my request for lightning bolt tattoos on my skull and have decided to go with the mask. Now when I say mask it is actually more like a giant metal halo that fits onto my head by a mouth piece and velcro straps. To make sure it is always in the same position they fit a plastic dome over the top and slide probes into holes that are lettered A to W to measure the distance from the frame to my skull. Each measurement must be within 1 mm for the original readings for them to proceed. One I have this shiney bad boy on I'm lowered onto a table where the frame is attached and they zap away. The actual treatment only takes about 20 minutes and I won't feel anything (It's like getting hit with a flashlight). This will be done from Monday to Thursday and I will consult with my Oncologist every Friday.There may be some side effects to this but I think I have them covered. I will be very tired but Amy's Mom & Dad are coming tomorrow morning to stay with us once again and help around the house as well as drive me to my appointments everyday. I will also lose some patched of hair where the beams hit my head but I'm thinking of getting a nice toupee to cover up some of those bald patches. What I have in mind is something special maybe bright red; something that says Hey Ladies look at me! For fun I'm thinking of attaching it only on the back os if I run or if it gets windy the top can flip up and it will look even MORE special. Almost like I'm waving at you saying: "Hey how's it going? Hey over here! No over here! This way! Yeah over here! How's it going?" I think that would be nice. It will show others that I'm concerned about what's happening in their lives as well and not just what's going on in my own little universe. Because that's the kind of guy I am. Just remember, you may not hear from me for a little while but I will always care about what's happening with all of you.

Thank-You

As some of you may know, I am currently on the fast road to recovery from brain tumors. Personally I think I'm pretty good to go. I feel great and I'm here at home climbing the walls to get out and get back to work. Unfortunately "the man" says I have to sit tight for a while longer and have radiation (first he says I have to wear pants and now this!). Well fine, like I've said before, I guess they knew what they were doing when they used the melon-baller to scoop out the bad cherries in the noggin, they may be right about this. In the mean time I'm taking things as they come. It's been a great summer hanging with the monkeys and seeing things clearly for the first time in a loooong time.Let me clarify:While I was suffering from the effects of the tumors I had absolutely no short-term memory what so ever (along with complete loss of vision in one eye and other fun side effects). During the time right before my diagnosis and my operation I was reduced to a walking shadow of not just myself but a human being. It got so bad that at one point neither I nor Amy could take care for myself any longer.I still have very little recollection of that time (as a matter of fact I have no memory of any events for the two to three months leading up to my operation) but as time goes by and I heal I am finding out more and more of what exactly went down. Some of what I hear is obviously very disturbing to me (at one point I could not recall my own children) but at the same time, some of what I hear makes me thank God every day for the people in my life and more incredibly, the people I have never met. Let me relate to you what I know so far:Yesterday I took the kids to Ontario Place because Amy's sister who works for Westjet got us tickets for their family day (she's always doing this kind of thing for us). While I was there, I was introduced to all of the great people she works with. It was while I was there that I found out that all of these people, Jenn's colleagues, who I have never met before in my life, came over to my house while I was in the hospital and helped Amy organize the house and move furniture to get it ready for the sale. As I said, I had never met these people before in my life and here they are, about 10 of them, coming over on their day off to help my family in our greatest time of need. It was also at this time that our friends Scott & Kelly took the time to come to our house (along with Paul & Deby Taylor) to help with the clean-up and packing. They did this while they were trying to raise a one year old daughter and one year old son respectively and yet they were all there taking the time to help my family. It is also during this time that our friends Karen & Blair Taylor came by with dinners so Amy would have one less thing on her mind while she was trying to deal with all of this.Another couple of examples:While I was at my sickest and awaiting my operation it got to the point where I could no longer take care of myself. I actually had to be watched constantly for my own safety. When it got to the point where it was impossible for someone from my family to be there my friend Paul would take the time from work and family to come over and just be with me. To watch me and to take care of me. You must understand the patience and caring it takes to do this while I was in the state I was in.Then there always has been and always will be my friend Kevin. He has always been the person to whom I look to for advice and guidance. He was there with me before the operation and he was there with me while I recovered. He was there in the hospital right after the operation joking with me, taking me for walks and reassuring me that I was supposed to look like Frankenstein's Monster and screw those who stared at my bruises and swelling. Yes Kevin, there is still a chance I may grow into the Hulk with the gamma radiation treatments. Thanks for lending me your purple jeans just in case.This is for them. For all of the people I have mentioned above and for all of the people I have yet to hear about. Thank-you. Thank-you for helping me when I could not help myself. Thank-you for everything you did for my family when I could not be there for them.

Okay, Not What I expected But...

So yesterday I had my appointment with the Oncologist at the Pencer Brain Tumour Centre in the Princess Margaret Hospital to talk about my radiation treatments. Dr. Millar is a very nice lady and very thorough. They did all of the usual tests and checked me out to see how I was progressing and then she went over my MRI from September 5th again. Yes the stubborn little bugger the cyst has grown back and yes they are going to have to deal with it. Here is where it gets interesting.Dr. Millar asked what my Neurologist Dr. Bernstein had recommended as a course of action for dealing with the cyst. I told her that since he sent me right to her I had assumed that he planned on dealing with it through radiation. Now does everyone remember what happens when we ASS-U-ME? That’s right; I made an ass out of everyone but me.It seems that Dr. Millar was a little confused by this course of action since radiation generally has little effect on cysts. It’s too bad that the tumours themselves hadn’t grown back because those they can deal with. Dr. Millar informed me that she will contact Dr. Bernstein to go over the case with him and find out why he doesn’t want to operate again. I of course have my own theory about this. Have you ever tried to crack a nut twice? Things don’t generally go so well. Besides it really sucks. My vote was for trying the radiation.If in fact radiation is the way they decide to go, I will be setting up appointments next week to go down to PMH every day for 6 – 8 weeks Monday to Friday to get zapped. The thing about these treatments is that they may have no effect on shrinking the cysts and if they do, it could take up to 2 years for this to happen. Another bonus side effect is that because they are hitting the bean with these rays, it may in fact cause malignant tumours to grow in the future (Yeah!).In the mean time they have given me steroids to take on a daily basis to stop the swelling in my brain and to increase my beach muscle. I’m thinking of starting by ripping telephone books in half everyday for the next few weeks and then moving on to benching hybrid cars. I’ll be the guy at the beach with the huge upper body and the toothpick legs.

A Funny Thing Happened On The Way To The Forum....

Well I have some more "Good News Bad News" this week. The good news is that I will be finished my radiation treatments sooner than expected. They were originally scheduled to start in December but they have been moved up and should be starting within the next two weeks. The bad news is the reason why they've been moved up.Last week I started to not feel myself again (as opposed to "feeling myself" which I must admit I did quite a bit of back in high school). Actually I started getting constant headaches, I was feeling tired all of the time again and I started to forget small things like walking away from the freezer and leaving the door open (small things). Anyway, I figured I had better get this checked out just in case. After everything I'd been through I now take the better safe than sorry attitude. I went to see my doctor on Thursday and let him know the scoop and he ordered an MRI at Credit Valley for me. I got a call Friday morning and they asked me to come in that afternoon.Once again I was strapped into my favorite machine and everything was fine for the first hour. Then they pulled me out just enough to inject me with the radioactive dye and it hit me like Oprah hits a buffet. I started waving my arms and telling them I was going to be sick so they ran over and unstrapped my head so I could sit up and get sick. They were nice enough to let me catch my breath for a while before strapping me back down and shoving me back into the giant tube. I managed to ride it out for another half hour so they could get their pictures and I left thinking "all of this for headaches that are probably being caused by the weather".Monday morning I got a call from my neurologist at Toronto Western and he told me that he would like to see me that afternoon. I went down with the MRI disk in hand feeling kind of bad that I was wasting everyone's time. Unfortunately it wasn't a waste of time at all (although I would have felt better if it had been). It turns out that what is left of the tumors are causing the cyst at the base of my brain to grown back and it is now roughly the size of a golf ball (still smaller than before). The thing that worried my neurologist is the fact that there was nothing there two months ago when I had my last MRI. What can I say; I never do anything half-assed.Well that's where I am at the moment. I should find out this week when the treatments start and then I'll be right as rain again. Thanks to everyone for the messages and calls. I'll keep you updated when I can after we take care of this stubborn little bugger.Cheers,Sean.